Letting Go of the Life I Imagined to Embrace the Life I Have

When I first became a mom, I had all kinds of dreams for what life would look like — the milestones, the celebrations, the picture-perfect moments. But what happens when the story you imagined for your family doesn’t unfold the way you planned?

For me, that question stopped being hypothetical when my little boy, only 2½ years old, was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Suddenly, the life I thought I would have — the one I had created in my mind — collided with the reality God had placed in my hands.

And I had to wrestle with a truth I didn’t know how to face: To live fully in the story God was writing, I had to let go of the one I had imagined.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”— Romans 8:28

This verse has carried me through countless tears and sleepless nights. It reminds me that even when life feels broken, God is weaving together something beautiful. His “good” doesn’t always look like the good I envisioned. Actually, it is better ... Deeper ... more fulfilling on a spiritual level.

Letting go isn’t a one-time act. It’s a daily intentional choice. A slow unclenching of my fists. A deep breath. A surrender of control. And in the surrender, I’ve discovered something I never expected: joy. Not the fleeting joy of perfect circumstances, but the steady joy of knowing God is present and faithful in every single step. That He is the author writing this beautiful story I find myself walking through.

If you are standing in the rubble of your own broken expectations today, I want to tell you what I’ve learned: the life you have — even with its detours and disappointments — can be full of meaning, hope, and beauty. Not because it’s easy, not because God comes and makes everything ok, but because God is in it with you.

This is the heart behind my new book, Chosen for This. It’s my story of learning to trust God in the unexpected, and I pray it will remind you that you are never alone in yours.

Chosen for This: Learning to trust God with the story I didn’t expect.